The Mashed Potato Mystery
It was a rainy old day in Tiny Town – a really horrid damp squib of a day, with nothing to do except stay indoors and play as best one could.
This is precisely what Snorky was doing. A bit of drawing here, a bit of cutting out there, some gluing, and a lot of looking out of the window at the splashy old rooftops of Tiny Town.
Before I tell you what happened to make this day slightly more interesting, I’d better tell you about Snorky – just in case you were wondering.
Snorky was a little girl who lived with her parents on the seventh floor of a block of flats, in the centre of Tiny Town. It was a nice flat, but awfully high up. Snorky’s parents – being modern safety conscious individuals, had fitted special things called ‘Child Proof Locks’ to the windows, to stop Snorky from climbing out of them should she ever feel like it – which of course she never did. She was quite happy to use the stairs, or take the lift when she wanted to go outside. Even though she was only five years older than when she was born, she was already sensible enough to know that climbing out of windows was a ridiculous thing to do…But anyway, that’s not the point. What I mean to say, is that Snorky was a little girl who lived in Tiny Town and that it was not a particularly nice day. Are you with me so far? Thank goodness for that.
While Snorky’s mother did something or other in the living room, which might have involved reading a magazine, or putting pink nail varnish on her toes, Snorky played quietly, while her pussycat – whom she’d called Mashed Potato because he was large and white and fluffy, slept in a chair and purred contentedly. Now before you say that cats don’t live in flats, I ought to point out that cats live wherever they please. It so happens that Mashed Potato considered himself a sophisticated urban cat, and enjoyed living high above the ground. He said it saved time when catching birds, if you didn’t have to wait for them to land.
Well as the day wore on, Mashed Potato woke up – as cats do from time to time, and he felt like playing.
“ Come on Snorky, I’m beastly bored with this rain – let’s go exploring.” He said.
Of course, it was such a horrible day, that Snorky didn’t really want to go out, and she was sure that her mother wouldn’t agree to it either.
“ You go out if you want to Mashed Potato, but I’m staying put.” She said. And she did.
Well as you know, cats aren’t easily put off, especially once they’ve got an idea into their heads - and it has to be said, that Mashed Potato was a particularly imaginative cat. He pawed around the room, getting on top of things, and underneath other things, looking for some mischief to involve himself in. He jumped into boxes and attacked pieces of string, while the rain steadily
pit-a-patted against the windows.
He was almost ready to give up, and go for another lie down, when suddenly, he found what he was looking for. Right there at the back of the fireplace – which had been blocked up since the advent of central heating, and where Snorky’s dolls now sat in a neat line. A loose panel…with a hole behind it. – The sort of gateway to adventure, that by the laws of Tiny Town, has to make itself available on days like this.
“ Ummm. This is interesting.” He purred. “ If I can dig my claws in a bit, I’ll have this panel out.”
Which is precisely what he did.
Before Snorky could stop him, he’d disappeared into the blackness of the chimney, and was ready to explore. All that she could see of him, were his bright yellow eyes.
“ Come back at once Mashed Potato” called Snorky, but to no avail. Have you ever tried ordering a cat to come back when it has found something it is interested in? Precisely.
Well, as I have said, it was very dark in the chimney - except for one bit. When Mashed Potato looked up, he could see a speck of light. It was a long way off, high above his head, and would need investigating. Like all the great Cat Explorers of history, Mashed Potato was not scared of crawling up chimneys. His cat reasoning told him that any monsters he encountered, would not be of a size to cause him much trouble, so up he went.
With his excellent claws, he managed to climb up the chimney, getting closer and closer to the light above.
At last, he reached the spot where it was coming in. He waited for a moment to listen for any scary things like dogs or cackling witches, then he poked his head out. Do you know what he saw? Can you guess?
Well, amazingly, Mashed Potato was in another room. It was unlike anything he’d ever seen before…it certainly wasn’t like Snorky’s flat. It was big and white and tidy, with only a few pieces of expensive looking furniture in it. Well of course, he’d have to investigate.
He squeezed himself out of the fireplace – for this it what it was, and began to walk across the deep white carpet. It was like walking in snow, except it wasn’t a bit cold.
‘What an extraordinary place.’ He thought to himself, ‘and what strange things’.
There was a huge white settee, with vast white cushions on it, a glass table with books about interior decoration neatly stacked up, and a white swivel chair with silver bits on it.
Well of course, Mashed Potato – being an inquisitive sort, had to try everything out. He jumped on to the settee, and ran across it; he had a fight with all the cushions, then jumped onto the swivel chair, and spun round until he was almost dizzy. Then, he noticed the white curtains, which he’d need to climb, unless he wanted to be banned from the naughty cats club. He took a flying leap at them, then climbed to the top, then slid himself along the curtain rail and down the other side. He landed right in front of the big mirror.
Suddenly he froze – staring back at him, was a huge black cat with fierce yellow eyes. Mashed Potato hissed, but the black cat hissed. He stuck his tail up and arched his back, but so did the black cat. He spread his sharp claws, but the black cat’s claws were just as sharp. At exactly the same moment, Mashed Potato and the black cat leapt at each other…and poor Mashed Potato banged his head on the mirror. It was at that moment, that he realised that there was not another cat in the room – the black cat was him - absolutely filthy – covered in soot from the chimney.
When he looked around the room, he could see that it was no longer pristine and white. Everywhere he looked, there were sooty black paw prints and dirty smudges. He’d never made a worse mess – and believe me – he’d tried. There were footprints up the curtains, up the walls, even on the ceiling where his tail had brushed along it. The white settee looked more like a cow with all its black patches, and the carpet was even spottier.
Something told Mashed Potato, that perhaps he ought to leave. He had been here rather a long time and besides, Snorky would be lonely. But just as he was wandering back towards the fireplace, the door opened, and a man came into the room. The loudest scream Mashed Potato had ever heard, was followed by several more. Snorky flew across the room, and jumped straight through the hole before you could say Catastrophe or insurance claim.
All that the man saw of Mashed Potato, was a black fluffy tail disappearing into the fireplace.
Well, Mashed Potato scrambled back down the chimney as fast as his sooty paws could carry him – which under the circumstances, was extremely fast.
In no time at all, he emerged through the panel, and was back in his own the fireplace, with Snorky staring at him with wide eyes.
“ You are absolutely filthy. Come and have a bath this minute.”
Snorky put the panel back to block the hole, then carried the sooty Mashed Potato – very carefully of course, to the bathroom.
Now usually, cats don’t like having showers, but in this instance, Mashed Potato was in no position to argue. Snorky washed him thoroughly – even using a tiny bit of her own shampoo. Once the last of the soot had been washed off, she wrapped him in a towel and dried him. The transformation was amazing. Mashed Potato was a fluffy white cat once again…which was just as well.
At that moment, the doorbell rang, and Snorky heard her mother answering it. She could hear her mother talking to two men, who seemed to be quite cross.
Presently, there was a knock at her bedroom door, and her mother – followed by the two men, came in.
“ Snorky dear, this is Norman and Wolfgang. They live upstairs. They say that a very naughty black cat has made an awful mess in their living room. Do you know anything about it at all?
Snorky looked at her mother, then at Norman and Wolfgang – who were both very red in the face, and then at Mashed Potato who she was holding in her arms.
“ A Black cat? No mum, I haven’t seen a black cat. Have you seen a black cat Mashed Potato?”
Mashed Potato didn’t give an answer. He just snuggled up in Snorky’s arms and purred.
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